Answers to the Unicru Application Personality Test

[Ratha]

Noggin is full of win...d

Also, Egyptians worshiped cats, its good to know that someone way back then knew something.

The decline of cat-worship

The cult of Bast was officially banned by imperial decree in 390 CE. Egypt has since experienced a decline in the respect once held for cats and although they are still kept as pets and tolerated elsewhere because they catch pests, the cat has lost all religious significance in modern Egypt.

Even great civilizations eventually fall.

Being not unschooled (I've studied the field for a quarter century.) in Industrial, analytical, and cognitive psychology; I decided to take a look at this test and shed some light on it from a tester's point of view.

This test, like the famous MMPI, is designed to discern personality from a bank of questions aimed at specific themes. By asking questions negatively and positively in many ways, they hope to pull common themes from the bank of questions. The MMPI, like this test, was an abject failure at its goals. It has long since been discredited at discerning personality. In short, this test is snake oil.

However, how they work is not intuitive, so here is a short lesson followed by my (probably imperfect) analysis and thoughts. The idea here is for others to get a sense of how these tests are put together so if/when they change the test questions the method is still valid.

These tests ask questions about certain themes (here diligence, intelligence, extrovertedness, agreeableness, mental stability, evenness of temper, and reliability). They ask these over and over again 8 or 10 times in random order. Some of these questions they ask in a "positive" or forward order such as "I like all candy." Here, agree might be called for. (SA being wrong as there is an "ALL" in the phrase. This might indicate dishonesty in answering.) They will later ask a negative question based on this or a loose similar idea, such as "I seldom eat candy." Answering agree here would flag you as deceptive, as your answers don't match. It should be disagree, to match. (Or SD)

The problem with these tests arises because of the complexity of communicating short phrases out of context. What if I didn't LIKE candy? I might fail it due to personal prejudice.

This is why the MMPI and all similar tests are no longer used for 'personality' testing by serious scientists. They do, however, if properly created (which this one is, of course, not) and balanced TEND to indicate when someone has certain mental aberrations.

That being said, I took a few hours to go over the entire test given and explain my answers and illustrate the correlates between the positive and negative questions.

I get rather snarky sometimes, and want to explain in advance that I didn't intend to insult anyone having to take these exams, but was expressing my loathing for so callous an attempt to deny people their rightful chance at a job due to a flawed testing schema. It is immoral and against their ethics as a scientist. It is also selling snake oil.

Please take my results as a matter of seething satire directed at the creators of this 'test'. No one should be made to feel bad at failing a poorly designed exam.

The key:
SA = Strongly Agree, A = Agree D = Disagree, SD = Strongly Disagree

The questions follow with my answers after them.

You expect to succeed in whatever you do: SA
I would select agree, because it is positive and not unrealistic.

You are good at taking charge of a group A
I would select strongly agree, because that is the way I really am. However, they do NOT want people that take charge. They want good stumbling stupid little slaves because that is what they are. So select SA.(If this sounds perverse, remember they're stupid. This test will not make sense.)

You keep calm when under stress SA
Common sense. They don't want people that freak out under stress because they're planning to work the ever lasting shit out of you and make your life a living hell. SA. That means lie.

You are somewhat of a thrill-seeker SD
Common sense. They don't want thrill seekers or anything else that might scare them. They suck and are stupid. D or SD. Probably SD.

You like to be alone SD
LOL better answer SD to this one. They want people people since this is retail.

You are well aware of your inner feelings SA
Hm. I'd say agree. Almost no one is really aware of their inner feelings. Self introspection is an anti-psycho question. And a stupid one. Also tests for egotism.

People are often mean to you SD
Noo. SD. This is a question aimed to see if you're neurotic.

You get angry more often than nervous SD
I'd say disagree. This question is attempting to see if you are meek or confrontational. Which do you think they want? Meek. You are supposed to be a slime-sucking worm, remember?

You know when someone is in a bad mood, even if they don’t show it SA
This is likely an empathy question. It is bullshit and requires you to answer in a psychotic way. The true answer is ... you can't. It is psychotic to think you know someone else like that, especially a stranger. However, what they're looking for is probably Agree or Strongly Agree. I'd probably go with agree.

You would like a job that is quiet and predictable SD
*sigh* No of course you wouldn't. Remember they perversely want you a meek stupid outgoing intelligent go-getter. Never mind that those people do not exist or they are batshit insane. You choose disagree or strongly disagree.

You work hard at what you do SA
Common sense. I'd say agree if they're looking for the honest answer. Most people believe that they're working well enough. Why the hell would you kill yourself for some crappy job that required you to beat yourself up like this? Agree or strongly agree.

You keep your promises, no matter what SA
Honesty test. No one is strongly agree. That's a blatant lie. I'd say agree here. However, in their own psychologically-challenged way, it might be SA. Hurts my head to think that though.

You work better with your hands than your mind A
LOL good luck on this one. It is a query to see if you're smart or stupid. I'd go with disagree. You don't want to be seen as a clutz, but they also want to hire smart people for nothing too. As if anyone remotely bright would subject themselves to such an ego kicking.

You don’t work too hard because it doesn’t pay off anyway SD
LOL for these crappy jobs, of course the answer would be SA!!! But, they don't want to hear that and this is another work-hard test. An anti-question to the "You work hard..." one. Disagree or Strongly Disagree. However you answered the previous work question.

You love to be with people SA
Extrovert test. In retail you have to be extroverted, so answer the opposite of the way you did for "You would like a job that is quiet..." above, either agree or disagree.

You love to listen to people talk about themselves SA
This is a tough one, but to be empathic and a good listener you have to listen. So this is agree or strongly agree. I'd go with agree.

You hate to give up if you can’t solve a hard problem SA
This is a tricky question. I would imagine in retail they don't want you wasting time with something when you could be doing something else. However, they asked a smart question above. I'd answer agree. SA might be too strong here. It should match the opposite of what you said under the hands/head question above.

You prefer to do things alone SD
You're a people-person, remember? You love the slack-jawed stumbling piles of crap you're forced to work with. Go with it. Empathy away! Answer the same as you answered under the "You love to listen" bullshit question above.

When under pressure, you think about all that can go wrong SD
This is another question in the same line as "You keep calm under stress" above. Choose the opposite of what you did under the prior one. I'd go with SD here. Even though that is the stupid way to answer. Remember they want you to lie.

It is easy for you to ignore small problems SD
Attention to detail question. I'd be tempted to disagree here, but I think SD is the idiot-answer they're looking for.

You feel lively and energetic at parties SA
Empathy question. Answer the same as all other empathy questions. Answer the same as the "Love to Listen" question above.

You are a quiet person SD
You didn't like the quiet job. You like noisy places and parties. You like hearing morons spew inane crap at you and all for a crappy wage. So, as an extrovert you choose the same as the other extrovert questions. SD.

You don’t like to be interrupted when you are doing something SD
This is along the same vein as the question above on "You hate to give up if you can't..." except this is an opposite. (Probably designed to test for obsessives.) It is a given that you will be interrupted a billion times in crappy retail positions. SD probably.

When someone is rude to you, you get over it quickly SA
In retail you're going to get your ass kicked from customers and from the managemorons. Extroverted worms, like you're supposed to be, let stuff blithely slide off their hollow little psyches. So should you. SA might be too strong so I'd go with agree.

You do not always feel hopeful about your future SD
This is a depression question. No one wants depressed people. Because... anyone working the worst job since porn-theater cleanup for minimum wage with idiot co-workers and minimal pay would be depressed would they? Of course not. You're upbeat. However, SD is pretty psychotic and I'd be tempted to go with disagree.

When you need to, you take it easy at work SD
Of course you're a hard working monkey for minimum pay! What were they thinking? SD.

You attract attention to yourself SD
Hm. Histronics need not apply. SD. You are a smart, unassuming, outgoing, eager, shallow, meek but aggressive little drone, aren't you? Yep. SD.

You believe that you would be very successful at a sales job SA
Good lord. Optimism question. Answer the same way you did for the "You expect to succeed" question. I would've answered agree.

You finish the work you have to do, even when you’re tired or bored SA
Well, since they're going to work the shit out of you, and it is going to be more boring than watching an entire weekend of Leave it to Beaver, that answer would be... SA. Total bullshit, but that's what they want.

You are proud of the work you do at school or on a job SA
Work ethic question. SA is really the only answer to this one. Not taking pride in your work makes you sloppy.

You look forward to going to work (or school) SA
Of course this is a test for liking your future crappy no-end job-hell for minimum pay. I'd say agree and not SA. No one really likes going to work all the time. Who knows what answer they're really looking for.

You quickly see the solutions to new problems SA
This is a test for intelligence. You don't wana be too smart though. Answer the opposite of the "You work better with your hands than your mind." I'd agree. (Of course, in reality it'd be SA. We don't want to appear TOO smart or egotistical though. Don't want to scare them. Besides, anyone brighter than a mouse would leave at the first opportunity. Right?)

You have no big regrets about your past SA
This is a depression question. I know it doesn't look like it, but it is. Depressed people are hung on the past. You aren't depressed, so you have no big regrets. Agree is realistic, but they might be looking for the more psychotic SA. I'd go with agree. Answer the opposite of the "You do not always feel hopeful about your future" question above.

In school, you were one of the best students SA
Smart-guy question. Of course you were. Answer this like the "You quickly" question above.

It bothers you when something unexpected disrupts your day SD
Same question as above in another form. "You don’t like to be interrupted when you are doing something". Here they want you to lie and say SD. However, the real answer is probably either D or A. If you said SA then you're an OCD fruitcake!

When someone treats you badly, you ignore it SA
Same question as above: "When someone is rude to you, you get over it quickly" and you should answer it the same way. I said agree. See, positive people let slights roll off because the guy that just peed all over your shoe was probably just having a bad day.

You like people to notice you A
Neurosis or egotism question. Answer the same as you did above: "You attract attention to yourself". Note the poster would've missed this one on the test. I'd guess the answer would be either disagree or agree. I'd go with disagree. The problem with these questions is that they are highly subjective. There IS no correct answer given the lack of context. On one hand this pair of questions could be seeing if you are introverted since introverted people don't like to be noticed. In which case you would answer agree to both questions. On the other hand they may be looking for neurosis, which would lead you to answer disagree to both. Whichever way you answer (and agree might well be correct), you need to answer the same way on both. Not doing so shows "deception".

Slow-moving people make you impatient A
I think this one is a test for patience and empathy. You don't want to hurry people. I'd go with disagree.

You often feel nervous about something SD
No, you do not. You are confident, remember? Answer SD.

You got mostly good grades in high school SA
LOL. Lie. Either agree or SA. This is a smarty question, so even though it makes no sense, answer the same way you would've for the previous smarty questions. Since you don't want to be too bright, I'd answer Agree. SA sounds too much like bragging.

Many people cannot be trusted D
Paranoia and neurosis test. The "right" answer is SD. You're upbeat, remember? Twinkly-light blows out of your ass. To not trust other people is to somehow state that you are not to be trusted. Insane? Of course it is. However, you need to make this answer the same as the other upbeat questions above. (Opposite of the 'positive' questions.)

You rarely act without thinking SA
Sloppiness question. They don't want sloppy but its pair is harder to identify. On one hand, they could be checking for OCD, which would score SA. On the other hand, a flexible thinker doesn't have to ponder each answer if they've seen it before. The common answer is A or SA. I'd go with one of those. 'Rarely' would indicate SA for me.

You have friends, but don’t like them to be too close SD
This is an extrovert question. Introverts have a few close friends and extroverts have many shallow friends. You should answer as positive as you did with the other extrovert questions. I'd go with SA.

You could describe yourself as ‘tidy’ SA
Disorderly people make mistakes. You don't make mistakes because you're upbeat, right? I'd say SA.

In your free time, you go out more than stay home SA
Extrovert question. You're 'out-going' so you say SA or A. SA is more indicated here since this is a retail job and they want you to pester the shit out of people.

Your stuff is often kind of messy SD
Disorderly people are bad. Answer the same as the 'tidy' question above. SD, since this is a negative pose question.

People have a lot of arguments with you SD
Extroverted, positive, agreeable people don't get into many arguments. SD, since you are the proverbial lovable, hard-working, smart-idiot drone they seek.

You have a lot of different abilities SA
Smart people have lots of abilities and are "flexible", which is a good buzz-word for the idiot execs. Either Agree or SA. SA sounds a bit too egotistical and I would answer A. (Same as the other positive smart questions.)

Your moods are steady from day to day SA
Neurosis question. Answer the same as the other positive neurosis questions. Either SA or A.

You are lively and talkative SA
Extrovert question. Of course you are. Either SA or A. Since this is a sales job, I'd go with SA.

There are some people you really can’t stand SD
Positivity question. Remember: "When someone treats you badly, you ignore it" and "When someone is rude to you, you get over it quickly". This is the same question. It is a negative question, so you answer it the opposite of the other positive questions. I'd say disagree.

You do not fake being polite SD
At first I thought this one was an extrovert question, because an extrovert wouldn't have to fake being polite. Then I thought about the language (fake is a pretty strong word. Not pretend, but fake) and I'd have to go with SD. I think they're testing to see if you have some vestige of disagreeableness. They want you to have no backbone, remember. (Another question further down verified this.)

You show it when you are in a bad mood SD
Of course you don't. You repress it like a good little drone. I'd go with SD here.

When things go wrong, it’s hard to control your temper SD
You're upbeat and positive, so this indicates you would say SD. ("hard to control" is strong language indicating that you might go "out of control", and they don't want that.)

It bothers you when you have to obey a lot of rules SD
I like this question. This is a drone question. I'd answer SA, but they're looking for D or SD. They want to make sure you'll follow all their bull-shit nonsensical rules. I'd go with disagree to leave a vestige of the "free-thinker" in there, just in case they're that self-delusional.

You can argue hard but still keep it friendly SA
Tough one, again. In a retail situation they want you agreeable, but extroverted. I'd say agree or strongly agree.

You would rather not get involved in other people’s problems D
In a retail situation, they want extrovertedness. Extroverts want to solve distressed looking people's problems. Therefore your answer here is SD or D. I'd go with SD here, since it implies that you want to help people.

It is not easy for you to put your ideas in writing SD
Intelligence question. It is easy for you to put your ideas into writing. SD.

When you are annoyed with something, you say so SD
Anger question and agreeableness question. You are a drone. You don't speak out when some fat retard makes you angry by doing something stupid or the idiot manager infuriates you with a total lack of respect due a dog. Therefore, you disagree or SD. I'd go with SD.

You were absent very few days from high school SA
This one is an attendance and punctuality question. SA is the only answer.

You’ve had some disappointments that you’ll never get over SD
Same question as "You have no big regrets about your past", but the negative. You answer SD.

You follow through on everything that you start SA
Finish question. Here, I think I'd say either A or SA. I'd probably go with A.

You feel nervous when there are demands you can’t meet A
Tough one. On one hand they want you to be confident, on the other hand, they want you to feel pain over the impossible situations they're going to put you into. I'd go with agree here, even though it should be D for extroverts.

You think a lot about the worries and stresses you have D
You don't worry. This is a bad idea. Answer the same as the other upbeat questions. D or SD. (Look at the "You've had some disappointments" question above.

People’s feelings are sometimes hurt by what you say SD
Hard one to guess. Either they are attempting to ask you about the idea that you often say things that hurt people's feelings or they are testing you on your empathy. In truth, people's feelings ARE sometimes hurt by what you say, unless you're a spineless twit. I'd say either agree or disagree. My guess, only by the way it is phrased, is disagree. SD implies that you have no empathy and SA implies that you often say stuff that makes people upset or are overly critical. This is a key reason why these tests are useless.

You make more sensible choices than careless ones SA
This is a question about intelligence. I'd go with the same thing. Agree. SA might imply overconfidence.

It bothers you a long time when someone is unfair to you SD
Extrovert upbeat question. Upbeat people are shallow and everything is someone else's problem. So, of course, you're shallow and you say SD. (D is too wishy washy for this one with LONG and UNFAIR.)

You change from feeling happy to sad without any reason SD
No. You are not labile. (Learn a new word. Look it up.) You are emotionally stable. Like everyone else. A good docile sheep. SD. This one is pretty strong too.

You like to try things that are new and different SA
Extroverts like to try new things. This shows their outgoingness. (If this hasn't made you sick by now you need meds.) So of course you do. SA or A as is your choice. (Personally I'd answer A, but the right answer probably is SA.)

You do some things that upset people SD
Answer the same as you did in the "People’s feelings are sometimes hurt by what you say" question. With this one, I'd have to say they should both be answered as D or SD. SD is probably the right answer and contraindicates empathy. All hail pathos.

When you are done with your work, you look for more to do. SA
This is a drone question. Of course, you're a drone. So you answer A or SA.

You are always learning about new things SA
Same question as "You like to try things that are new and different". Answer it the same way. SA.

You are skilled at convincing people SA
This one is a tough one. On one side, this might be that they're trying to see if you're good at conning people and is a question of your honesty. However, positive people are stupid, apparently, and so they would see the word 'convincing' as not tricking. And they want you to sell their overpriced crap. So this is either A or SA. In this instance I'd go with SA.

You swear when you argue SD
LOL. If you can't figure this one out... No. You never cuss or swear or fart or pick your nose. Never. Sunlight blows right out your ass. Ess to the D. (SD)

You don’t act polite when you don’t want to SD
Ah. Here we go. The other side to the previous question about politeness. "You do not fake being polite". Same way as this is a negative question. SD.

When people make mistakes, you correct them SA
This one is tough, but is likely an assertiveness question. I'd go with agree here.

You usually like to be by yourself SD
Obviously not, given the prior questions. Either D or SD. I'd go with SD.

You talk cheerfully to people you meet SA
Extrovert question. A or SA. I'd go with SA since this is a sales job.

You do what you want, no matter what others think SD
LOL. The real answer is SA (for me), but they want SD. You're a stupid, agreeable drone.

You tend to follow others more than lead A
They want leaders in their crappy low-end jobs. So this is a D. (Answer it the same as the question above "You are good at taking charge of a group". Our original poster got caught in a lie here.

Realistically, some of your projects will never be finished SD
This is a "you finish what you start" negative question tempered with reality. "Realistically" is your clue. I'd go with agree.

People do a lot of things that make you angry SD
You're generally agreeable, and a "lot of things" is pretty strong. I'd go with SD here.

You like to take the lead with others SA
This is another leadership question. I'd go with the same as the others. A.

You make new friends all the time SA
Extroverts are always making new friends. I'd go with A instead of SA to make it more match my general tone, but both would probably work.

You sometimes thought seriously about quitting high school SD
You are not a quitter. SD.

Any trouble you have is your own fault SA
Even though this question is insidious bullshit, you are forced to answer A or SA because it indicates that you take responsibility for your actions. I'd answer A here.

When someone criticizes you, you criticize back SD
No, you are agreeable. Agreeable people don't get mad. (Which is of course bullshit.) I'd answer SD here.

You like to plan things before you start to do them SA
Hm. Organized people plan, but not too much. I'd go with A here.

You shy away from trying new things SD
Same as the other trying new and different things question. You're an extrovert. So the answer is SD.

You are good at leading people D
Same as the other leader questions. Our poster got this one wrong again. (He answered A to the one at the first part of the quiz.) Our answer is A.

You worry about saying the wrong things to people A
Confidence question that would lead you to be timid, when you said you were an extrovert. I'd say D here. You're a confident extrovert and not shy or meek.

You like to take frequent breaks when working on something difficult SD
Obviously they want you to work and not play. I'd go with SD here.

You have plenty of self-confidence SA
Confidence question. Upbeat extroverts are confident. I'd say agree here. SA seems like too much ego.

You are not interested in your friends’ problems SD
You're an empathic extrovert. Of course you care. SD.

You do not like to meet new people SD
You're an extrovert. Of course you want to meet new people. SD.

Your friends and family approve of the things you do SA
This is a socialization question. You're a drone, remember. Be a drone. Agree.

You bounce back right away from disappointments SA
You're upbeat. Answer the same as the other upbeat questions. I would answer agree.

It’s fun to go out to events with big crowds SA
Extroverts like this. So do you. SA!

It is important for you to feel good about your work SA
You're concerned about your work and want to do a good job, so SA.

You feel bad for a long time after you’ve made a mistake SD
Upbeat people bounce back, just like you said you would a couple of questions back. Disagree. (You answer the same, whichever SD or D you choose.)

You’d rather not compete very much SD
LOL. This one's funny. The obvious answer. SD.

You avoid arguments as much as possible SD
You're an extrovert and assertive but agreeable, so that'd be SD. (Although I'd probably answer Disagree, as I wouldn't want to be too meek and to maintain coherence with prior answers.)

You can easily cheer up and forget a problem SA
Same as the question 2 above this (You feel bad...) but the positive spin. SA. Upbeat people don't feel bad for long.

You like to talk a lot SA
Extrovert question. Answer the same. For a sales job this'd be SA.

You do things carefully so you don’t make mistakes SA
Tough one, but pride in your work would demand that you do so. I'd choose A not SA to temper it a bit.

You have to give up on some things that you start SD
Realism question. Same as the "Realistically, some projects" question above. Normally you won't like to do this, but to maintain coherency, you say agree. Otherwise you'd waste time.

You don’t believe a lot of what people say SD
This is a people are normally honest because you are question. You're an idiot that believes what people say, but not too much. D.

You don’t care what people think of you SD
Upbeat people let stuff roll off, as in the questions way above. I'd say A. This is the obverse question to the above about it bothers me what other people think of me.

You like to have a lot to do SA
Obviously you live to be worked into a small stump, so A. (SA is a little strong.)

You finish your work no matter what SA
The "no matter what" is tricky. There is no way to know which answer they're looking for, but I'd imagine this one to be D. This is to maintain coherency with the other answers on "Realistically, some projects" and "You have to give up on some things" to keep you from wasting time. It really is a coin toss because it is impossible to guess what they're looking for.

You are careful not to offend people SA
Assertiveness question. Same as some of the other questions. I'd say D to balance it with tact. The idea with these questions is they're asking you if you're assertive.

You think a lot about things that have bothered you SD
This is a dwelling on the past question. SD. Same as above.

You could not deal with difficult people all day SD
Obviously this is an anger and stability question. You are stable, so you say SD. (Since this is a sales job, but realistically, who'd want to deal with assholes all day?)

You don’t care if you offend people SD
Again, an assertiveness question but this one is tougher. I'd say A. Being afraid to assert yourself is the mark of an introvert and will probably flag you for being dishonest if you said you liked people.

You pay close attention to people’s feelings SA
Empathy question. I'd temper it with the above though. A.

You agree with people more than you argue SA
Hm. We said above that we liked to argue if we could keep it friendly. Extroverted people do that, so we need to do it here some, but we also like to be agreeable. I'd go with Agree.

You work best at a slow but steady speed SD
You work quickly best. Because that is what they want. SD. (However, be mindful that this may be wrong if they considered the "I always think about things before I act" or similar question above.)

You think of yourself as being very sensible SA
Hm. I'd go with Agree. You're smart to a degree, so it follows that you're sensible.

Right now, you care more about having fun than being serious at school or work SD
LOL. The obvious answer is SD. They want workers, not immature idiots.

You act pleasant even when you feel bad SA
Upbeat people do this. Agree.

You want to be the best at everything you do SA
Unrealistic, but agree. (SA sounds, again, too much like egotism.)

You don’t worry about making a good impression SD
No, you do. Sloppiness in one area leads to sloppiness in others. (Which is a lie, but whatever.) SD.

You wait to start your work until you are told to SD
You're a leader remember? Disagree. (To match others.)

You get mad at yourself when you make mistakes SA
Don't want to get too strong here. Agree. Because you're supposed to give a shit.

You’d rather blend into a crowd than stand out D
You are an extrovert. SD.

You look back and feel bad about things you’ve done SA
Another depression / past question again. Sheesh. SD. (And the OP super-flunked this one.)

In school or on a job, you could be doing better than you are SD
This indicates that you aren't trying hard enough. But you do that. So you disagree. (SD is too egotistical for me.)

When you go someplace, you are never late SA
You are punctual, but not always (Never?). So A.

You have no big worries SD
Upbeat question. You are not depressed and are upbeat. SD.

You don’t work harder than you have to SD
Obviously SD. You are a hard worker for the shit they put you through, eh?

You take the lead in conversations or discussions SA
You are a leader, so you do. A.

It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free SA
Interesting question. This ties into the others about your theories on people. The key is "maddening". I'd say disagree here, to match our other answers. (People are basically honest.)

Other people’s feelings are their own business D
No, we are an extrovert and we like to push our noses into other's business. SD.

You always try not to hurt people’s feelings SA
Another assertiveness extrovert question. "Always". Disagree, to match tense with the others

In groups, someone else usually takes the lead D
You are a leader, remember? D to match tense.

You are a good reader.SA
Smart people are good readers. Go ahead and say SA to this one.

You do not like small talk SD
You're an extrovert. You do like small talk. SD.

You do all you can do to win SA
You're positive and upbeat, and a winner (of course, that is why you'd be working a crap job), so say A. (to temper the "all you can do")

You do not like to take orders SD
You're a leader and a drone (no dichotomy here), so you LOVE to take orders. SD.

You have trouble dealing with sudden changes SD
No. You are flexible. SD. Even if that is psychotic.

You try to sense what others are thinking and feeling SA
Empathic question, but you can't sense what others are thinking and feeling. I'd say agree. It is just a poorly written question.

You try to make everything you do perfect SA
Well, you try to do everything well, so I'd say agree.

You’ve done your share of trouble making SD
No, you haven't done your share. That is why your family and friends are happy glow-glow people. SD.

You would rather work on a team than by yourself SA
You're a leader and a team player and an extrovert. SA.

You are hard to get along with when you are in a bad mood SD
This is another "angry" question. SD. (even if it does make you into a mouse.)

You criticize people when they deserve it SD
This is a tough one. Criticize is a loaded word. D or SD. I'd likely go with D even if that is likely not what they're looking for.

You have always had good behavior in school or work SA
Same as the other school question and the "hell raiser" question. They want drone-leaders, remember? That's you, so you say SA.

People who talk all the time are annoying D
You like listening to others, right? And you're an extrovert, so you say D to agree with your other answers.

You like to be in the middle of a big crowd SA
Extroverts do this. So you say SA.

You have confidence in yourself SA
You have confidence and you're upbeat. I'd go with A to match my other answers.

You give direct criticism when you need to SA
This is a damned hard one. "Need to" makes it almost impossible to guess. The OP got this one wrong as it has to agree with the above. I'd go with D here. That might be wrong.

You ignore people you don’t like SD
Um. No. You're an extrovert and upbeat. You like everyone (which is agreeable), so you say SD.

You don’t care if you offend people SD
This is a meekness question, so I'd go with D. "Don't care" is pretty strong here. Empathy requires some level of caring, but not too much. It may not match with the other answers and this is why these tests suck.

You chat with people you don’t know SA
Extrovert question. SA.

You have a busy, active schedule SA
They want you to be busy. This is an anti-lazy question about work ethic. The opposite of all those stupid "I only work as much as I need to" questions. SA.

Cheers,

The Archer-Angel of Darkness

[DranoK]

Wow, thanks for such a long, in-depth post, Anon ;)

They do, however, if properly created (which this one is, of course, not) and balanced TEND to indicate when someone has certain mental aberrations.

Well, that's part of the problem, isn't it? Aside from meta results (examining pathological liars comes to mind) these tests only work if people answer the questions truthfully. And people are only going to answer the questions truthfully if they feel confident their answers will in no way harm them or cast them in a poor light.

You'll never get accurate results from tests like this, even if you cast all the ethical concerns aside.

To that not too unschooled scholar of bullshit tests...

I need to get this of my chest first.. I already knew what 'labile' means, can I have another new word? See I'm probably just as smart as you are and my need to really shove that fact down your throat probably shines a powerful spotlight on my inner pain of never having gotten even a Bachelor's degree in anything. But then again, I'm sure that any formal _training_ for degrees (mind you ->training<-) would in the end just have dulled my brilliantly evil mind. Yet aside from that you might well be a kindred soul.

Personally - in the sense of me taking the test because I need to prostrate myself in this economy - I would have answered nearly all of the questions like you did. In a few instances where you chose to give the luke-warm answer of agree/disagree I would have instead strongly agreed/disagreed, the reason being they're looking for a moist and joyous asswipe drone that just LOVES to glide through the valley between the cheeks, reaching one end of the ride and immediately yearning to return the same way.

Now the one thing I'll disagree with you here is that they're looking for leadership. Do we turn to the guy selling shoes at Payless shoe source for leadership?

"They want leaders in their crappy low-end jobs. So this is a D. (Answer it the same as the question above "You are good at taking charge of a group". Our original poster got caught in a lie here."

I really think otherwise. Look, it's simple. They're looking for a drone. A drone does not have command capabilities. Only command cyborgs do. A drone that has command capabilities is not a drone. It is either a defective command cyborg or a defective drone. It is in both cases a defective unit. Only not defective units can serve the collective. As it is defective it can not serve the collective. The collective must be served. Therefore the defective unit must be terminated.... ah yes.. can you not already see the green glow of the Borg shining down on your pale face?

But again, seriously, I think the answer is "I'm a drone" here.

Non serviam.

[Ratha]

Holy long post batman!

Im amazed that anyone can type that much without their computer crashing. Specially if it was typed into a forum, and not a word processing file.

[Leeler_Jade]

Wow, Great job The Archer-Angel of Darkness.

I did notice some discrepancies


(You have no big worries SD
Upbeat question. You are not depressed and are upbeat. SD.)

I thought it was SA. How many people have a lot of big worries and are very upbeat?


You always try not to hurt people's feelings SA
Another assertiveness extrovert question. "Always". Disagree, to match tense with the others

I answered SA because i dont try to ruin people's day. Did you say Disagree accidentally? So you do always want to hurt people's feelings. crazy.


You don't care if you offend people

It is on the answer sheet twice. I answered Disagree because i don't want to offend customers in customers service. I don't give them any attitude. If you strongly agree then you think you are better than some people. bigot. And are looking to make arguments.


And...

is this a typo?

You avoid arguments as much as possible SD

You're an extrovert and assertive but agreeable, so that'd be SD. (Although I'd probably answer Disagree, as I wouldn't want to be too meek and to maintain coherence with prior answers.)

I answered agree because "http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/05/05/25/how-to-most-effectively-pick-your-battles.htm"

[noggin]

My answer was to not work in retail.

[Ratha]

We dont care what Noggin's answer was? SA. :)

[noggin]

You win this round.

I thought it's A: A copyright violated to post another blogger's post without their permission and B: Aren't the Unicru questions themselves copyrighted?